I think we can all agree that books are akin to mystical creatures that we are in love with even though we don’t quite understand how they do what they do but yet we are extremely afraid of them because what if we are secretly dangerous fugitives that have hurt several others and has chosen you as its next victim??
Book recommendations assist the book equivalent of murder…don’t kill your friends with books that cause mass amounts of pain…but then again do… REIGN SUPREME YOU GLORIOUS TYRANT!
Now, we all love them to death and will probably never stop reading books. BUT….. I think we can all agree that books….are sneaky little buggers.
They get into your brain when you read them,
from there they go to your heart,
from their they leech into your soul.
When finally they decide to nest… so that they can stay with you forever
and cause as much pain as they like, whenever they like.
Why are they sneaky you ask?
Well, my friends I shall share my ancient knowledge on how we have all been manipulated by books to constantly need them and care for them… we aren’t going to complain though, it’s like a willing and volunteer basis brainwashing scheme….
or something more sinister??? DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!
This is a crime that we all are the victims of… books make us pay for them and if they are true witches and wizards of the dark arts, they’ll make us buy for their brothers and sisters too — or maybe their whole family if they are that convincing. (By this I mean we kind of turn into zombies after finishing the book- and then we rise from the dead pit of despair to buy everything that the author has written…)
Have you guys ever seen that quote, the one where it says that “the most beautiful flowers are always the ones that get picked first” or something….
It’s extremely related to books.
Unless we find a book through recommendations, auto-buying beloved authors or simply because you know you like that genre…. one of the only other reasons that would make us zoom toward a book would be if it captivates us with its beautiful face…
That’s how they get ya.
I’ve talked about their unnaturally glorious, never fading smell before….still very convinced that it is some kind of witchcraft….
If a bookworm even catches the subtlest of whiffs of the book aroma, we will dash towards said smell faster that the speed of light, praying to the god of smells* that it is book related.
*There probably are smell gods, I would never make it up ???…. why has no one researched this?? It’s clearly very important…
We just expect and accept the pain that books bring us.
Also, let’s science this spooky fact.
So, some animals have vibrantly coloured skin to ward off predators, sometimes because said animal is poisonous and deadly
and completely void of mercy .
Books are usually vibrant and attractive colours…..
Did we listen? Did we head their warnings?
NOPE! WE JUST WALKED ON IN, BOUGHT THE BOOKS, READ THEM, CRIED ABOUT THEM, AND THEN WE QUESTION WHY IT HURT SO MUCH!!!
We were warned by the beautiful colours of books…but we didn’t listen and look what happened to us…
How books have escaped being filed under tools of black magic we will never know.
Are there things that you question about the power that books have over us? Or have we all just given in to their supreme rule over our very souls? We may as well… because….black magic = dangerous..
Have you ever read a book that hurt your heart way too much?